This post was originally published on 9th June 2019 and updated on 30th May 2021.
I love being single, but that doesn’t stop me from looking forward to being in love again. Although I have to admit, and if you have read some of my earlier blog posts, you may have already worked out, I’m not great at this love malarkey.
Falling for the wrong men is becoming quite the speciality of mine.
A Disaster In Love
From international con artists to men who want me to help them get a visa to stay in the country. From men posing online as soldiers from the US Army to manipulating control freaks. Oh, and that’s not to mention the friend I spent the best part of four years falling in and out of love with.
You name it, I’ve done it and got the bloody T-shirt!
It’s safe to say I’ve had my fair share of disastrous relationships.
A Hopeless Romantic
Yet none of these disasters have made me give up on love.
I am a hopeless romantic. Think Emma Thompson in Last Chance Harvey, Sandra Bullock in While you were Sleeping, Julia Roberts in My Best Friend’s Wedding, or even Steve Carrell in Dan in Real Life.
Although I’m an old fashioned romantic, I’m definitely not a ball and chain kind of girl.
I’m looking for old fashioned romance with a modern-day twist.
An Old Fashioned Free Spirit
I’m too much of a free spirit these days for any man to chain me to the kitchen sink. I’m certainly not doing all of the cooking and cleaning in a relationship, but I will agree to do an equal share (or even better, let’s hire a cleaner!).
Whilst I love to be in love, I also love spending time by myself.
As I grow older, I enjoy my own company more and more. Something my younger self would never have dreamt of happening.
I love waking up at the weekends, on my days off, or even whilst on a solo adventure in a far off country and doing whatever I please.
This notion may sound selfish to some, but I spent too much of my younger years going with the flow and not having a strong enough voice to be heard (which is probably one of the reasons I created this blog!).
I want the kind of relationship that allows me the freedom to book holidays to far off places, just because I have an itch that needs to be scratched.
I want the kind of love where we share special times as a couple, but equally, I want us to lead our own lives, doing what makes us happy.
That might involve holidays together, whilst at other times it might mean travelling alone or with friends.
There may be weekends together, but time apart during the week. Other times, we may spend a whole week together.
Healthy Time Apart
I no longer want ‘we must do everything together‘ love.
As strange as it might sound, I don’t want the kind of love that makes you feel like you have to spend every waking moment together.
I want time together and time apart in equal measure.
I want to be with someone who I can talk to about our shared experiences. I also want to be with someone who’s happy to listen, as well as to talk about the fun and exciting things we do when we’re apart, as well as the mundane things we experience in day-to-day life.
It’s funny how as we grow older, our views on relationships change. Maybe we become more selfish. Or perhaps we come to know ourselves better and discover a degree of realism.
Long gone are the days where I feel a relationship should complete me.
I had that all wrong from the start.
What’s most important is that we learn to love ourselves.
To love our own lives. To be happy within our own skin.
That way, when someone does come along who’s worthy of our love, we don’t allow them to take take take from us.
We all deserve to find someone who allows us to be true to ourselves. Someone who loves us for who we are, someone who enhances our qualities.
I’d love to know your views on love.
Are you a hopeless romantic?
Do you have traditional elements to your relationships?
Or do you prefer to write your own script?
I’ll be back next week as I take a look back on the month of May.
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