On the 17th of February this year, at the age of 42, I started running.
I started slowly – running in 60 second intervals with the NHS Couch to 5K app as my sidekick. Six months later, I can now run for 45 minutes without stopping.
I think it’s safe to say I’m now officially a runner.
But why did I start? Why now?
Therapy, Patterns and Rebuilding Myself
I didn’t know it at the time, but running was about to give me the stability and dopamine I’d been chasing in all the wrong places.
At the beginning of this year, I escaped a coercive relationship. We’d only been together a few months, but he moved fast. After finding the energy to walk away, I had to put the work in to heal and rebuild.
Part of that work included weekly therapy sessions. Together, my therapist and I have spent a lot of time dissecting my relationship history and the patterns that have emerged.
The Mood Boost I Was Chasing
When I met my ex, I wasn’t in a great place. 2025 had been a rubbish year for my business. I’d briefly got back together with another ex until that ended in July, and my vibrations were low. Looking for some kind of mood boost, I downloaded the dating apps again. Talking to men and meeting people seemed to give me some energy back.
Fast forward to this year, and I now understand that the mood boost I was chasing was, in fact, dopamine.
Understanding Dopamine and My Brain
So, what is dopamine?
Dopamine – the “feel good” hormone – is a neurotransmitter (a chemical messenger, if you will). It helps regulate mood, motivation, and attention, and has a huge impact on our mental health, weight and wellbeing.
Wonky dopamine levels can increase the likelihood of mental health difficulties, including depression, anxiety and addiction. Low dopamine levels can also be a direct result of ADHD.
I’ve documented my anxiety journey a lot on this platform, and I’m now on the waiting list for a formal ADHD assessment (and an autism assessment too, because you know I don’t do things by halves!). After completing a couple of online assessments, it seems fairly conclusive that I at least have ADHD – which could explain my hunger for those dopamine hits.
Finding a Healthier Dopamine Hit
So, I started researching how I could get my dopamine hit in a healthier way than downloading dating apps. Thankfully, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for dating apps anyway, which made searching for other ways to get my “hit” a lot easier.
At the same time, I became more aware that I might have ADHD – and one way of managing ADHD and dopamine seeking, kept popping up again and again.
Running.
Couch to 5K
So on a whim (cough…impulsivity is another key indicator you’re chasing dopamine), I downloaded the Couch to 5K app, donned an old pair of trackie bottoms and some trainers, and went out for my first “run”.
The first week’s running schedule looked like this:
I’m not completely new to running. I was a 100m sprinter in school (the fastest girl in the school, I’ll have you know!), and I’d made several attempts at being a regular ‘jogger’ throughout my adult life, but I always got bored of it.
Yet I’ve always loved any kind of interval training (another possible ADHD sign…interval training stops boredom creeping in), and I now realise that’s why my previous attempts at becoming a runner failed.
The Couch to 5K app is designed to help you stick to it. Not only did it help me get fitter and run for longer, it also gave me the dopamine hit from the interval training.
When Running Started to Feel Good
Week 2 was harder, and it was the first time I doubted whether I could do this. The only real difference was running for 90 seconds instead of 60, and walking for two minutes instead of 90 seconds. Each run was only 30 seconds longer than week 1, but it felt really bloody hard.
But after week 2, I found my rhythm. I started to look forward to each session and loved them just as much when I was out there hitting the gravel track I now consider my second home.
Building Stamina and Hitting 5K
By the end of week 9, the official end of the Couch to 5K programme, I was running for 30 minutes without stopping. I was still a little way off reaching 5K, but I wasn’t deterred.
Another “perk” of my differently wired brain is that I love a challenge.
The Couch to 5K app also has a section called Beyond Couch to 5K, which helps you build stamina so you can eventually run for 40 minutes without a break. I also downloaded Strava to get a clearer idea of how far off 5K I actually was.
The first time I used Strava on the 18th May, I recorded 3.90km in 30 minutes 31 seconds. One month later, on the 17th June, I finally reached the elusive 5km mark in 39:06.
And as I write this on the 12th August, I’m now running just under 6km in 45 minutes – in what has been a ridiculously hot summer here in the UK (we’re currently on heatwave number five!).
The Physical Changes I Didn’t Expect
Although it wasn’t my initial reason for running, I’ve also lost over a stone since I started running, and I feel so much healthier. I have thigh definition I don’t think I’ve ever had, and I’ve had the confidence to wear shorts all summer long.
Running and My Relationship With Dating
Running hasn’t stopped me from dating again, but it has helped me develop a much healthier relationship with dating.
What I’m Aiming for Next
So, what’s the next step in my running journey?
Long-term, I’m aiming for 10km. If I could be a consistent 10km runner, I’d be happy. But right now, 45 minutes seems to be my zone. Forty minutes comes easily; 45 minutes continues to be a challenge, both psychologically and physically.
I’m having to look at my diet and hydration as a way to keep myself better fuelled. Post-run headaches are very real and not fun.
And the final 5 minutes of my run slow my average pace down significantly as I drag myself over the line.
Although my brain dislikes consistency, that’s what we’re aiming for right now – getting out there two or three times a week and getting my body conditioned for those longer runs.
Will I be tempted to sign up for a 10k before the end of the year? Maybe.
A Healthier Way to Heal
But for now, I’m basking in the glow of finding a much healthier way of getting my dopamine hit. Running hasn’t magically fixed everything, but it’s become proof that I can choose myself. It’s given me something I can rely on. It’s helping me rebuild my confidence, my boundaries, my energy, and the way I show up in my relationships – and not just the romantic ones. Running is teaching me patience and consistency, and it’s bringing me some much-needed peace, as well as that dopamine hit.
I can’t wait to see where my feet take me next.
Keeping you always in my daily prayers. c.a.