How many times have you found yourself in toxic relationships?
Not sure what a toxic relationship looks like?
Here are some of the characteristics to look out for:
- A lack of support
- Persistent unhappiness
- Communication breakdown
- Control and dominance
- Neglect and manipulation
I’ve often found myself ending up in toxic relationships when I’ve been feeling a bit lost, or suffering from low self-esteem.
Sadly, I’ve lost count of the number of relationships I’ve been in where I’ve come out of them feeling worse about myself than I had before the relationship.
But I reckon it’s time to change this pattern.
Breaking the Cycle
I’m making a commitment to myself. I’m going to do everything within my power to make sure this never happens again.
You might be asking yourself how I’m going to avoid this slippery slope.
Well, thankfully, things are a bit different this time.
Discovering What Makes Me Happy
I’m slowly unlocking the key to what makes me happy, what makes me laugh, what makes me smile, and what brings joy to my soul. And in doing so, I’m discovering what makes me tick. I’m learning to notice when I need to be around people, and when I need time alone. I’m finding ways to improve my wellbeing and be more mindful each day, not just when I’m feeling close to burning out.
Perhaps the biggest realisation is that I no longer need a boyfriend to complete me.
When I’m ready to love again, I’m hopeful, that because I’m happier with myself and who I am, the person I meet will be happy with themselves too. It will then be time to take another journey, learning how we can work together to bring out the best in each other. To encourage one another to be the best person they can be, without jealousy creeping in or the need to control one another.
Excited About the Future
Whilst I’ve made a good start, I’m nowhere near the end of this journey yet.
But I’m excited about what it might bring.
Do I wish I had started this journey sooner? Of course I do. But I’m also aware, that I wasn’t ready to discover who I really am…until now.
If you would like to find out more about how to leave a toxic relationship, click here for a brilliant article I found on the Calm website.
🙈 Thank you for this post. I have found myself in this situation over and over again. Although I’m much quicker now in regards leaving less dignified situations, I haven’t done enough self-discovery work. When I start doing the work, someone usually shows up and I fall. I think the keyword is really the one you used, commitment to ones’ self. Commitment to loving ourselves, to take care of ourselves, to listen and respect ourselves more… some days I think I should have my s* put together already, but as Paulo Coelho says in his book, The Alchemist, at least we won’t take 3 more decades to realise what we know now. 🌺
I do exactly the same thing 🙈 start to improve myself and then wham bam I meet someone new 🙈 although this time, I have banned the dating apps and am relying on meeting someone naturally, so fingers crossed it will take me a big longer to sort through all the wronguns this time. And when I do meet someone, it’s going to have to be more on my terms than it has been before. It’s *our* time to take better control over our lives 🤗
We have that in common too 🙈 I set that as my dating goal too but sometimes in a weak moment I install the apps to delete them minutes later… crazy! I believe meeting someone naturally as you say is the way to go! #NoMoreCrazyDatingPact