Lost and Found in India

Hello Annual Leave,

What an absolute pleasure it is to see you!

2020 has been a funny old year so far, so it’s nice to have 5 days off work, catching up with sleep, life admin and making plans for the next couple of months.

After spending much of last year planning and prepping for the trip of my dreams, something I hadn’t planned for was how I would feel when I returned.

I thought I was going to India to find myself. Instead, somehow, I came back lost.

I knew India was going to be life changing, but I had no idea that finding a way to build the new Becky, into the old Becky, making changes to my mindset, including my hunger for travel, was going to be so challenging.

None of this was helped by the fact I had a particularly nasty case of food poisoning the day before my journey home began (thanks to some dodgy seafood in Goa!), which, combined with severe jet lag for the next 10 days, left me tired, demotivated, and wondering when being back in London would feel ‘normal’ again.

Goa – I will return one day to see everything this part of India has to offer (hopefully without getting food poisoning next time!)

I came back to an important assessment at work (which I just simply wasn’t in the right headspace for), and my relationship was suffering due to unnecessary drama I had brought back from India.

I felt resentful towards so many different things. In India I had been surrounded by different people to whom I would normally find myself with, yet I had found myself fitting in. In so many ways they were from a different world to me. I guess in many ways they were simply from a world I longed for, having the money (and the holiday time) to travel often. They were interesting, full of knowledge (but not in a patronising way), and I found myself desperate to book another trip.

Sadly, my finances won’t allow me to do this just yet.

India had left me longing for more. More travel, more likeminded friends, more learning, more culture. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say more money.

Some of the lovely people I travelled with, including some local school children on the beach in Mumbai

A few weeks after my return, I started to feel like ‘me’ again. My relationship was getting back on track, I had caught up on sleep, and work seemed to be ok post assessment.

Until out of nowhere, a shitstorm started to build at work…I know they say these things make us stronger, but bloody hell!

Thankfully, my annual leave has arrived at the right time. I always try to schedule some time off in my diary every 3rd month. I know that if I go much longer than this without a break, I get narky, stressed, and start to feel burnt out and run down.

In the aftermath of the shitstorm, plus the possibility that coronavirus had been introduced to our office last week, my leave had hung in the balance. But I am grateful that a) my colleague has been given the all clear, and b) I can enjoy my leave without having to self isolate myself (although they way it’s spreading at the moment, I may be safer hibernating all week!)!

I also intend on drawing a line under India this week. I am so grateful for the experience India gave to me, even with the challenges I have faced since returning. But it’s time to look back at my trip, to appreciate the journey I have been on, and to start looking forwards again.

It’s also time to start sorting out my finances so I can start looking for my next adventure…

So long India 🇮🇳

Watching the sunset on Calangute Beach, Goa

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Cherryl says:

    Lovely ending to another great travel experience!!! Sorry to hear you got food poisoning, but thankfully it happened right at the end of your trip – so didn’t ruin it 🔆 I’d love to do the ‘every third month’ break too, but then I feel like I need to stock pile my leave for the autumn/winter months – when I feel the most need to get away/hibernate lol.

    Liked by 1 person

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