Valentines

Happy Valentines to you my lovely followers ❤️.

Whether you’ve been celebrating today with your partners, your friends, or by yourself, I hope you’ve been kind to yourself today.

This is my first single valentines for a couple of years. So many singletons seem to dread the day. Quite frankly, even those in relationships often turn their noses up at the thought of it.

However, even as a thirty something singleton, I’ve been looking forward to today.

I may not have anyone to have a romantic night in (or out) with, but for me, today has been about celebrating self love.

Ok, so maybe I had a bit of a flirt here and there, but for the most part, I have been celebrating self love.

For possibly the first time in my life, I feel happy with who I am. I feel like a new person since my trip to Portugal. Even my colleagues have noticed a change. I feel lighter, happier.

My wellbeing and my happiness have become a priority. I have spent years trying to make others happy, making myself miserable in the process. But now, I finally realise the importance of self love.

If I love me for who I am, and make sure that I stay true to myself, if I find myself looking for romantic love again, there will be no changing me to make others happy from now on.

I have lost count of the times I have changed for other people. And all it’s done is caused me to lose my identity and to end up as miserable as sin.

I’m done with all that rubbish.

If you’re not going to love me for me, then you don’t deserve me, and you certainly won’t have a future with me.

So today, my friends, has been about celebrating my happiness, my freedom, and most importantly, celebrating finding love for myself.

And this evening, I have celebrated in my cosy little London flat, with my four legged friend, a bottle of wine, and a chocolate pudding.

And I’ve loved every minute ❤️❤️❤️

Olhos de Água and Praia da Falesia

After my relaxing day on Tuesday, yesterday I was back into explorer mode.

This time I decided to head east of the resort, and headed to the beach at Olhos de Agua. Again, I chose to walk, as good old Google maps told me it was only a short walk away.

20 minutes later, I arrived at the beach. Olhos is small fishing town where the local fishermen still pull their boats onto the sand when they arrive back to the shoreline with their fresh catches. It’s a much quieter town than Albufeira, but lovely if you have a young family and aren’t looking for somewhere overly commercial.

As there wasn’t an awful lot to do or see there, I decided to head down onto the beach to see if I could walk round to the next Praia (beach), Praia da Falesia.

(All photos in this post are my own )

If you are lucky enough to get down to the Praias on the Algrave’s south coast when the tide is out, it is really easy to walk from many of the beaches to the next without too many problems, albeit over a few small rocks. However, once the tide comes back in, these parts are pretty much impossible to reach by foot.

Luckily, the tide was out when I arrived in Olhos de Água, leaving a clear path right i round to Praia da Falesia.

As soon as I walked around the corner of the cove onto Praia de Falesia, the view took my breath away. Seeing the vivid orange colours of the cliffs and the distinguishable layers of rock, made my inner geographer do a little back flip of joy!

I must’ve walked down almost the entire stretch of the praia with a massive grin on my face. Every new section of cliff face I came to had something different to offer.

As I continued to walk along the beach, I realised how light and carefree I felt. I felt more relaxed and content than I have done in a long time.

As I walked along, I did a lot of thinking. I started to make a lot of sense out of things on that walk, putting some things into perspective, letting other things go, and thinking about some of the changes I need to make in order to create more happiness and feelings of being carefree, on a more regular basis.

I will share some of my thoughts with you over the coming days, but for now, it’s time to pack and wave goodbye to Portugal as I have a flight back to London to catch tomorrow.

Miss Explorer v Miss Relaxation

Since I arrived in Portugal, I’ve been feeling torn.

My intention was to get away, relax, get some self care points in the bag, and to have some much needed reflection time.

However, my inner explorer keeps trying to lure me away from this.

So, I’ve compromised, alternating each day. A day of exploring, followed by a day of rest and relaxation.

Thankfully the facilities at the hotel are great. With a gym, tennis courts, indoor (heated) and outdoor pools, and a spa, it means that I don’t have to wander too far from my apartment to enjoy some of these little luxuries.

As yesterday was my first proper rest day, I got up, enjoyed a leisurely breakfast in the restaurant, and then headed back to my apartment to catch up on some blogging (Albufeira was the result!). It was then time to check out the gym facilities.

I don’t think I’ve ever been on holiday and used the gym before, or even taken my gym wear away with me, but as I am becoming more aware of my health, as well as the mental and physical benefits of exercise, I came away with every intention of using the facilities.

Luckily, as with so many other parts to this holiday, I had the gym to myself.

I didn’t go too crazy, as I haven’t used a gym in around 3 years, but managed a good spell on the treadmill, the recumbent exercise bike, as well 3 x 10 reps on the lat pull down machine.

I say I didn’t go crazy, but I managed to work up a really good sweat, and came out of the gym feeling really good.

I had booked in for a full body massage in the spa for 2:30pm, so it was time for a light lunch back at the apartment before heading down to the spa.

I don’t remember the last time I had a full body massage (I normally stick to a deep tissue back massage to sort out the terrible knots I get in my back!), but it was lovely to switch off and relax. I must’ve fallen asleep a couple of times, as I remember dreaming once or twice! My only criticism was that the lady was too gentle. I like someone to really work on my knots when I’m getting a massage. However, it was relaxing, and it was lovely to just lie there and enjoy getting some pampering, breathing in the aromatherapy scents and thinking of little or nothing for 50 minutes.

Once I had finished in the spa, I had just enough time to sit by the pool and read for an hour before heading back inside to get ready for dinner.

It’s very easy on holiday to spend every waking moment on the go, and that’s understandable. Perhaps we spend all year saving for our holiday, and it may be that we only get one a year. However, it’s also really easy to burn yourself out when you go away. The last thing I want to do is go back to work next week feeling as though I’m not rested. I know I haven’t been performing my best since Christmas, and I need to listen to my body and my mind, in order to make sure I’m ready to hit the ground running when I get back.

So as much as my mind keeps trying to lure me into Miss Explorer mode, my body is fighting back and making sure I get lots of rest and self care opportunities too.

Solo Traveller

When I first went on holiday on my own 3 years ago, I received a mixed reaction from friends and family. Some said good on you. Others thought I was crazy. Won’t you be lonely? Aren’t you scared going alone? Why don’t you find someone to go with?

The answers to those questions at the time were:

  • I don’t know, as I’ve never done it before
  • Yes
  • There aren’t many of us singletons left in my friendship circle, and why should no one wanting to leave their husbands, wives or their children, stop me from going to sunnier climes?

This time around, fewer people asked those questions. In fact, the comments I received were a lot more positive:

  • I wish I was brave enough to go away on my own
  • Have a great time

Perhaps people’s mindsets are changing. More and more people seem to be going off and doing their own thing, whether that’s because they are single, or simply because they want to visit places their partners don’t really fancy going to.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the easiest thing to do. It pushes me way out of my comfort zone. But I like to see how far I can push myself. Where are my limits?

When I arrived in Portugal this week, I asked myself the questions my friends had asked me 3 years ago. My answers this time were:

  • No, I now love my own company. Plus the beauty of the modern world, means I can stay in touch with friends and family back home, if I want to.
  • I am always a little apprehensive about travelling alone, but I try to avoid putting myself in the face of unnecessary risk. Plus, I have now been living in London for 3 years.
  • I didn’t even try to convince anyone to come with me this time. Well, ok, just the one, but I was truly looking forward to escaping, having some quiet time away from the madness of work and London, and spending some time working on where I want to be in the future, and the steps I can start taking to get me there

So here I am, in sunny Portugal, sitting on my balcony, alone, but not lonely, enjoying some time away from the rat race, relaxing and exploring, watching the sunset and wondering just how many trips I might be able to squeeze into this coming year ✈️☀️🏖

Albufeira – photo taken today by me

Solitude

As I get older, I find myself enjoying my own company more and more. I wonder if this is an age thing, or even a female thing, but I know its certainly something that crept up on me and took me by surprise.

Pre-London, I would be quite happy to spend time doing my own thing, but this was limited to doing my own thing at home. If I had the house to myself, I would find myself enjoying gardening, baking or reading, but I was never on my own once I left the house.

This may’ve been the result of having a controlling monster of a boyfriend at the time, who insisted on going everywhere with me. I didn’t really know what it felt like to be on my own outside the house, therefore I didn’t miss it or even know that I needed it perhaps.

Moving to London was the first time I really ever found myself on my own. With few friends here, and the nature of my job resulting in making more enemies than friends in the early days, I spent a lot of time alone.

Maybe it was living in London that made me realise I had the freedom to be alone. All of a sudden, I found I was dining out alone, going for long walks on my own, sitting in the park on my own, or even going to the cinema on my own. And I was was enjoying it.

None of this had felt possible back home.

But in London, lots of people were doing the same thing, and therefore perhaps I felt less self conscious about doing things on my own. It was more acceptable. But was it really a London thing? Maybe I had just changed? Grown up a bit? Realised that time alone didn’t have to be isolating? In fact, maybe I had realised that I really, really needed time alone.

Sometimes being on my own did make me feel isolated in the early London days. For a short time, I shared a flat with a random guy who was either never at home, or sprawled across the couch eating out of a takeaway carton. I spent a lot of time sitting in my room with my door shut, working until midnight, because I had nothing else to do, with the exception of going on the odd date (thank god for Tinder back then!) or seeing the occasional friends for dinner.

I now find myself with Ali, my boyfriend of nearly two years. In the early days we were inseparable, and hated time apart. We moved in together after 6 weeks (partly due to the random flat share guy mentioned above who developed a completely irrational moth obsession!!), but mostly because we wanted to spend every waking moment with each other (when we weren’t at work of course!).

So it was pretty hard to admit a few months ago that I needed some space. We were cooped up in a 1 bedroom flat and quite frankly it was getting too much. There was a moment when I thought the relationship had had its day, but then it dawned on me, I just needed some ‘me’ time. Some solitude in between work and my boyfriend coming home, or making the most of the weekends he is working and I am off.

This weekend, I treated myself to a 3 day weekend. Mostly because I needed to switch off from work for a few days, however, it also meant that I could spend some time with Ali, whilst also having a day to myself once he went back to work today. It was lovely spending time together, but I was also really looking forward to spending time by myself today.

I sometimes get nervous about going out on my own, but I don’t let that stop me. There are also places I wouldn’t go to on my own, so I save those for the days me and Ali have off together, or for the weekends my family or friends come to visit.

So today, I took myself off to Chelsea Physic Gardens, somewhere I had been wanting to visit since I realised they existed earlier this year. I couldn’t have chosen a better day to go. Although its September, the weather has been perfect, with clear blue skies and so much warmth still in the sun. Yet the leaves on the trees are just starting to turn, exciting the eyes and the senses in preparation for what is to come in the autumnal weeks ahead. I had never visited gardens on my own before, but I really enjoyed it. Lost in a world of medicinal plants, with the sun on my skin, enjoying my own thoughts. I took time to read the information boards around the gardens, noting the names of the plants and where in the world they were from. I also took time just to feel present. Admiring the plants and the autumn light pouring through the trees. Tasting the delicious goats cheese tart salad, and the amazingly incredible mouth watering almond and fruit frangipane.

A moment of solitude was just what the soul needed.