I love being single, but that doesn’t stop me looking forward to being in love again. Although, I have to admit, and if you have read some of my earlier blog posts, you may have already worked out that I’m not actually too good at this love malarkey.
Falling for the wrong men is becoming quite the speciality of mine. From Nigerian con men, men who’s visas are about to expire, men posing online as soldiers from the US Army, men (some married, and some not) who want me as their naughty little secret or their bit of fun, and that’s not to mention the control freaks. Oh, and on top of that, there’s the best friend who I spent the best part of 4 years falling in and out of love with! You name it, I’ve done it and got the bloody T-shirt.
I’ve had my fair share of disastrous relationships.
Yet none of this has made me to give up on love.
I’m a hopeless romantic. A proper fictional romance book/rom com movie romantic.
Think Emma Thompson in Last Chance Harvey, Sandra Bullock in While you were Sleeping, Julia Roberts in My Best Friend’s Wedding, or even Steve Carrell in Dan in Real Life.
Although, in reality, what I actually want is old fashioned romance with a modern day twist.
I’m definitely not a ball and chain kinda girl.
I’m too much of a free spirit these days for you to be able to chain me to the kitchen sink, or for you to expect me to do everything you want to do.
I love spending time by myself.
I actually enjoy my own company (something my younger self would never have dreamt I would say!)
I love waking up at the weekend or on my days off, and doing what I want to do.
I love the freedom of being able to book holidays to far off places I want to visit, just because I have an itch that needs to be scratched.
When I fall in love again, I want it to be the kind of love where we share special times together, but equally lead our own separate lives, doing what makes us happy. Sometimes that might involve holidays together, other times it might mean travelling to places on our own, or with friends. Sometimes there will be weekends spent together, other times, it may not.
I’m done with claustrophobic love. The kinda love where you feel you have to spend every waking moment with someone. The kinda love where you do everything together, but end up with nothing to talk about because you have no new experiences to talk of, except for those you have shared together.
In my dream world, you might live next door to me, but not live with me.
It’s funny how as we get older our views on relationships change. Maybe as we get older we become more selfish. Or maybe we simply become more realistic.
Long gone are the days where I feel a relationship should complete me.
I had that all wrong.
What’s important is that you learn to love yourself.
To love your life.
So that when someone else does come along, they don’t take your life and your love for yourself away from you. Instead, they enhance you. They enhance your life.