It’s been a good few years since I last went to a wedding.
They can be a bit like buses. You wait ages for one and then two come along at once!
This spring, two of my closest friends are getting married to their respective partners.
Whilst I have been looking forward to their weddings and helping them to celebrate their love for each other, in the back of my mind, a little reminder keeps going off, reminding me that these are the first weddings in my proper grown up life, where I have been going as a singleton.
I’m talking weddings of friends here, and not family. It seems to be much more acceptable to attend a family wedding with your family as opposed to having to worry about a plus 1. Although there’s still no escaping the awkward question of, are you ever going to be next?
Friends weddings are very different to family weddings.
Weddings in your 30s are also very different to weddings in your 20s.
Weddings in your 20s
Attending weddings in your early 20s is all about having fun. It’s a bit of a novelty when you start to get wedding invitations through your door after years of guessing who might be first to tie the knot.
In your early 20s, most of the bride and grooms friends are still single. Weddings were all about who could drink the most, and copping off with the bridesmaids or the best man (or both!)!
Then there are the weddings you’re invited to when you’re in your mid 20s. People, by now, are starting to get into serious relationships.
Wedding invitations are flooding through the door, and there is the added excitement of taking your plus 1. You want to show them off to your friends, and as you sit there watching your friends tie the knot, you hope that you and your plus 1 might be next.
However, with the plus 1 in attendance, cue the awkward questions. “So will you two be next?” or “When are you too going to tie the knot?” followed by lots of nudging each other.
The questions you get in your late 20s are even worse, with people reminding you that your body clock is ticking!
Weddings in your 30s
Attending weddings in your 30s is by no means an area I am an expert in. In fact, this weekends wedding between my lovely friend Elaine and her partner Will, is the first wedding I have attended in my 4th decade.
It’s also the first wedding I have been to in a long time, as a singleton. I tried not to think about it too much. However, there was still part of my mind that kept wondering whether I would stick out like a sore thumb! How would I feel when the couples got up to dance together during the first dance? Would it make me feel sad that I’m on my own and not with a significant other?
Of course I didn’t need to worry. Although it appeared that most guests were there as a couple, many with their young families, I didn’t once feel out of place.
There was to be no slow dance for the happy couple (they opted for a Ceilidh instead!), which at least meant that I wasn’t left on my own staring into the distance all misty eyed as the couples left me for the dance floor. The couples still left me for the dance floor, but instead of feeling left out, I relished in the opportunity to film them dancing during the Ceilidh!
The only disappointing factor was the lack of single men in the room, but aside from that, it was great to simply catch up with friends, old and new, to dance like a loon, and to celebrate love.
The thing is, I’m happy with being single. Had I not been, I may’ve found the experience more difficult. But the fact that I am happy with where I am, and who I am, meant that I could go to my friends wedding, and just enjoy the day for what it was. Two friends, making a commitment to each other.