Have you ever been known to choose the wrong partner at a time when you are feeling lost?
Perhaps at a time when you have been suffering from low self esteem, you fall for someone who ends up making your self esteem even worse? Or equally as bad, you fall for someone who wants to control you?
I seem to fall into this trap time and time again.
I have actually lost count of the number of relationships I have been in whereby I have come out of them feeling worse about myself than I had before the relationship had begun.
It’s time to change this crazy pattern of behaviour.
I am making a commitment to you, my lovely readers, that I am going to do everything within my power, to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
No doubt you are asking yourselves how I am going to achieve this, especially when I have just confessed that my history goes against this.
The difference this time, is the fact that I am on a path of self discovery.
I am learning what makes me happy, what makes me laugh, what makes me smile, and what brings joy to my soul. I am learning what makes me tick. I am learning to notice when I need to be around people, and when I need time to be alone. I am finding new ways to improve my wellbeing and to be more mindful in my day to day, and not just when I am feeling close to burning out. I am learning to look after my mind and to also look after my body more.
I am learning that I don’t need a boyfriend to complete me.
When I am ready to love again, I am hopeful, that because I am happy with myself and who I am, that the person I meet will be happy with themselves too. It will then be time to take another journey, learning how we can work together to bring out the best in each other. To encourage one another to be the best person they can be, without jealousy creeping in or the need to control one another.
Whilst I have made a good start down the path of self discovery, I am nowhere near the end yet. I’m not even sure I am even anywhere near the middle.
But what I do know, is that I am excited by this journey, and I have already learnt a great deal about myself.
Do I sometimes wish I had started this journey sooner? Of course I do. But I am also aware, that I was not ready to make this journey until now.
The Mindful Gingernut 
🙈 Thank you for this post. I have found myself in this situation over and over again. Although I’m much quicker now in regards leaving less dignified situations, I haven’t done enough self-discovery work. When I start doing the work, someone usually shows up and I fall. I think the keyword is really the one you used, commitment to ones’ self. Commitment to loving ourselves, to take care of ourselves, to listen and respect ourselves more… some days I think I should have my s* put together already, but as Paulo Coelho says in his book, The Alchemist, at least we won’t take 3 more decades to realise what we know now. 🌺
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I do exactly the same thing 🙈 start to improve myself and then wham bam I meet someone new 🙈 although this time, I have banned the dating apps and am relying on meeting someone naturally, so fingers crossed it will take me a big longer to sort through all the wronguns this time. And when I do meet someone, it’s going to have to be more on my terms than it has been before. It’s *our* time to take better control over our lives 🤗
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We have that in common too 🙈 I set that as my dating goal too but sometimes in a weak moment I install the apps to delete them minutes later… crazy! I believe meeting someone naturally as you say is the way to go! #NoMoreCrazyDatingPact
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