I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful for the weekend to arrive!
I had a bit of a wobbly moment midweek where I felt incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of work I need to do between now and the summer. Within the industry I work, everything seems to come at once. Deadlines galore, lot’s of meetings, visits, processes to review, assessments to pass. Lot’s of plates to keep spinning.
Thankfully I have an incredibly supportive boss. On Wednesday when I looked at my diary for the next 6 months and started to get that overwhelming feeling, I spoke to my boss about my concerns and let him know how I was feeling. I wouldn’t ordinarily have done this. I don’t like to panic until there is an actual problem. But something in me knew I had to be open and honest. And I’m so glad I told him. Straightaway a plan was formed to take some of the burden off me and to share it out amongst the team. Do I still have work to do? Absolutely. But is it going to be easier shared? 100%. I still feel worried about the tasks that are coming up, but I feel so much better for sharing my concerns early, rather than waiting for them to get out of hand. I have avoided a battle with the dreaded imposter syndrome (for now).
This week has also been the first week living on my own, albeit with my extremely fluffy four legged friend. As much as I have loved the thought of living on my own, I didn’t really know how I would find it. I didn’t know if I would feel lonely, scared, nervous, bored even. But I’ve felt none of those so far. It helps having my cat here with me. At least I can talk to her even if she doesn’t say an awful lot back. I think I’ve actually slept the best I have in ages. My eating habits are improving, as I’m making smaller, healthier meals. And I’m spending more time doing things I want to do, such as catching up with reading, watching my favourite movies, seeing friends, and on the odd evening, catching up on work without feeling guilty (and without interuptions). I also strangely like the fact that when I come home from work grumpy and tired, I no longer need to worry about snapping at anyone. If I want to be grumpy I can, without being worried about offending/upsetting anyone else, or worse, causing an argument.
Despite sleeping better, eating better, and doing more exercise, I feel exhausted. I am aware that some of this will be a delayed reaction to the emotional rollercoaster I have been on over the last few months. I need to make some time this weekend for some much needed self-care and some rest, before another busy week at work begins again on Monday.
I am so grateful that I have a holiday on the horizon too. I am normally so last minute with booking holidays, but having booked this one over Christmas, it really is stopping me from getting the January blues, and is giving me something to look forward to. Even though Portugal may not be at its warmest in February, there’s a lot more chance of seeing the sunshine than staying in London. I simply cannot wait to feel the sun on my skin and to feel the sand between my toes.