2019 – I’m coming for you

After months of waiting, we’re entering into the week of the dreaded Visa Appeal. I feel like the last year has been focused on this moment. And now it’s here, I’m not sure how I feel.

Going through the application process was hard enough. Finding out the application had been rejected was tough. But the thought of having to go through court proceedings in the hope that the rejection will be overturned, has been an experience that has quite frankly drained me on every level.

It’s not even my appeal.

I can’t begin to comprehend how Ali must feel.

I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t impacted our relationship too.

Neither of us have been to court before. We have no idea what to expect on the day. I have never felt so underprepared for something in my life.

I have tried really hard to keep my emotions together over the last few months. I’m terrified that on the day I will become far from supportive and turn to a blubbering mess, when what I really need to do is to stay strong for Ali.

My family have been ridiculously supportive over it all, even offering to come down to support us on the day. But I know if they are there, all my emotions will come out and I will be no use to anyone.

Whatever happens this week I know I need to make some changes moving forwards.

Somewhere a long the way, a part of me has got lost. I need to go find that piece of me and get it back.

I also need to find my Christmas spirit! Normally I’m well on my way to feeling Christmassy by now. This year however, it doesn’t seem to matter how many festive markets I go to, I’m just not feeling it right now.

I need a holiday too. As soon as this week is out of the way I’m going to book myself a few days away at the start of the New Year. And a Spa Day.

I need to spend more time in my happy place too. I know where it is. Thankfully, it’s never gone away. It’s the one true place I can just be me.

 I’m going to make a commitment right here and now…

In 2019 – I’m going to focus on me. Not in a selfish way, but in a positive, much needed way. I need to spend some time focusing on what makes me happy. I need to get my energy for life back. I need to say yes to more exciting opportunities. And if I don’t?

Well, quite simply, there is no alternative. I am going to get me back. Whatever it takes. 2019, you better watch out…I’m coming for you!


5 Comments Add yours

  1. Good luck with the visa! Hopefully it will turn out well. And if it doesn’t, other directions will emerge, I’m sure. About 2019: I’m in the same boat. Last week also met someone here with the same goal. It’s exciting! Daunting, but exciting! I don’t feel the Xmas vibes yet too… I think I will only get into it when I land in my hometown 😸


    1. Becky says:

      Thank you so much for your positive words 😊🙏🏻 you sound so excited about going back home 😃 I am getting excited for you. I hope that you will return to England one day. You have provided me with so much support during a difficult few weeks. I cannot thank you enough 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻💖

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww thank you!! 🥰 These days have been crazy, but I’m finally in another man’s land 😄 I will definitely come back, I just need to recover from these 3 years and something as an expat 😄 And you are most welcome, I’m glad I could help somehow. I wish you will have good news soon 🤗🤗🤗🧚‍♀️


  2. Pamela Greaves says:

    Go girl!! The world is waiting for you and, of course, as are your family and friends. 2019 will be Becky’s year x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Becky says:



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